Loving, Losing, and Longing For Those We Once Had

Loving, Losing, and Longing For Those We Once Had

When I was in my early 20s, I dated a girl named Emily. She was stunning, vibrant, and was born into a family made for reality TV. She has 17 siblings, and at the time of our dating her folks had over 100 grandchildren. Many interactions I had with her kin were wild, circus like, some were fun, others terrifying, many were fueled by Busch Light. Then, one night, after a softball game, one of my closest friends, Amanda, pitched the idea that she and I should date. So I broke up with Emily, and dated Amanda — but only for a few weeks. It turned out that she and I were much better friends than we were boyfriend/girlfriend and that became very clear one afternoon while I was visiting her at college. We sat on her bed and watched Gone With The Wind and ate dinner at a Cracker Barrel in Oshkosh, Wisconsin. We also watched a handful of Golden Girls episodes that weekend.

At that point in time, I’d known Amanda for about seven years and while we got along swimmingly, there wasn’t a spark. Akin to sibling-like friends, we couldn’t even kiss without it feeling weird. My bookish nursing student friend wasn’t bad, she was just boring.

One evening, post-Amanda, I was at a parade and guess who was there — Emily. She was wearing a Rolling Stones t-shirt, and, on the front, it read, “I Know It’s Only Rock and Roll” and on the back, “But I Like It.” And that was enough to propel me back into the tumult of our relationship. We started dating again the next day. And then broke up a few months later.

This happened more than once in my younger years — Girl A was unknown, more of an adventure, sure to produce ups and downs. And Girl B was stable, reliable, and didn’t really drink that much. This mirrors my life as a fantasy baseball manager. For instance, this week I thought about adding veteran outfielder Alex Verdugo from the wire but opted to add 23-year-old Andy Pages — the Dodgers foxy outfielder I dropped last week to make space for the (thought-to-be) thrill ride of a power hitter Heston Kjerstad. I’m also curious if I should stick with the career .720 OPS of Daulton Varsho or take a flier on the younger, MLB-unproven Red Sox SS/2B Vaughn Grissom? These are the things that interrupt meditating and extend my bathroom breaks from spring until fall.

A league mate of mine, Garth, picked up Colton Cowser in April — the heralded, sweet swinging young outfielder from the Baltimore Orioles. Cowser started the year in a platoon role before hitting well enough to be undeniable in the eyes of O’s manager Brandon Hyde. However, before he found regular playing time, Garth dropped him. By the time Hyde realized he needed to milk Cowser every day, somebody else claimed him. So, Garth started dating Colton’s older, less attractive brother, Ryan O’Hearn — Baltimore’s 30-year-old 1B/OF/DH who has been steady at times, but rarely hot during his MLB career. This ate Garth up. He kept seeing CC rack up hits, smack taters, and he was tormented daily — he likely felt like a man watching the film adaptation of a Margaret Mitchell book and eating French onion soup from a chain restaurant when all he really wanted to do was party.

Monday, Garth made a trade that brought this prodigious son back to his fantasy squad. I’m guessing he told his wife and son the news as soon as he got home from work and perhaps even set a spot at the table for the young Oriole.

Throughout the last decade of wasting countless hours speculating, adding, trading, waiving, and re-adding salacious young players I have been burned repeatedly. And I’ll be dipped if that feeling of longing doesn’t sink in the same way it did 20 years ago when I was half-heartedly trying to get girls to date me, and then breaking up with them, and then trying to win them back. In more than a few ways, fantasy imitates reality and I’m somewhat ashamed to say that a lot of the lessons I’ve learned over the years still haven’t landed. And this week I find myself wondering, chasing, dropping, waking up early and thinking about what kind of players I want to drink Busch Lights with. So it goes.

I know it’s only fantasy baseball, but I like it, like it. Yes, I do.

Waiver Wire Three-Pack

Reed Garrett (NYM) - RP
His stats look like video game numbers right now. He has 27 Ks in 14.2 innings. That equals a 16.57 K/9. If you’re looking to stabilize your pitching numbers, Garrett should help. 

Taj Bradley (TB) - SP
A hot prospect with filthy stuff, Bradley is best known for being hurt and striking dudes out. He should be coming off the IL soon and the compelling young arm just threw five innings of no-hit ball and struck out seven at AAA in his first rehab start. 

Alex Verdugo (NYY) - OF
Still just 27, Verdoogs is currently on paternity leave (congratulations!) but before he left, his last month has been excellent with 25 hits, 16 runs, four bombs, 12 RBIs and an .817 OPS. He also recently started batting cleanup for the Yanks.

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