The Ultimate Presidential MLB Showdown

AL vs. NL Slugfest

Let’s have some fun this Friday with a little fan fiction. Usually, we’ll stay away from politics in this newsletter, but we’re far enough away in time that I think we can have some fun today. Strap in and crack open a cold one, because we've got the most testosterone-fueled, no-holds-barred Presidential Showdown in MLB history – AL vs. NL, and it's about to get as rowdy as a bench-clearing brawl! 🥊⚾

🔵 In the Blue Corner: The American League (AL) - The Power-Hitting Party Animals 🔵
Leading the AL's band of wild men is Aaron Judge, whose campaign is "Swing Hard, Party Harder." Judge is pitching a league where every home run is celebrated with a beer shower. And who's his wingman? Juan Soto, promising a post-game fireworks show with every win – and he means literal fireworks. 🎆

Their platform? Steroids are not just legal, they're encouraged – welcome to the bicep bulge bonanza, brother. They're also lobbying for a seventh-inning keg stand challenge. Oh, and every foul ball caught gets you a free beer!

🔴 In the Red Corner: The National League (NL) - The Strategy and Shenanigans Squad 🔴
Mookie Betts is leading the NL's crew of cool cats with "Smart Plays, Epic Parties." Betts is all about bringing strategy to the game and the after-party. His VP? Fernando Tatis Jr., who's vowed to turn every stolen base into a reason for a stadium-wide tequila shot. 🥃

Their plan? Introducing a "Pitcher Chug-off" – every pitcher has to down a pint before taking the mound. Plus, a mandatory "7th-inning Sing & Swing" where players have to karaoke while batting.

The Campaign Trail: A Party Parade
The AL's been hosting homerun derbies with live bands and BBQ cook-offs, while the NL's setting up strategy sessions that end with epic beach volleyball games. Judge was seen bench-pressing kegs, while Betts was spotted leading a conga line around a ballpark.

Debate Night: A Bro-Down Throwdown
Things got wild when Tatis Jr. turned up in a luchador mask, challenging Judge to an arm-wrestling match right on stage. The DH debate? Solved by a hot wing eating contest, judged by none other than legendary party animal, Wade Boggs.

Election Day: A Battle of the Badasses
The votes are flying in like a fastball high and inside. Will it be the AL's muscle-madness and beer bonanza, or the NL's tequila-fueled tactical genius?

The Votes Are In!
And there you have it, the votes are in and the dust has settled on this wild, wacky, and wonderfully outrageous election. The winner, by a beer-soaked whisker, is... The American League! 🍺🏆⚾

The AL's campaign of muscle-bound madness and ballpark beer bashes has clinched it. Aaron Judge, flanked by a grinning Juan Soto, is lifted onto the shoulders of their fellow power hitters, all flexing like they're in a bodybuilding competition. Judge declares, "It's time for homers, and hops!" The sky lights up with fireworks as if the stars themselves are celebrating.

What Happens Next? 
Every ballpark in the AL turns into a party paradise. Steroids are in, as long as they're used responsibly (whatever that means in this bicep-bulging reality). The seventh-inning stretch is now officially the seventh-inning keg stand challenge, and every foul ball caught earns that lucky fan a free beer. The games are louder, the nights longer, and the homers... oh, the homers are just epic.

As for the NL? They tip their caps in respect, already plotting a strategy for the next showdown. Mookie Betts is overheard saying, "Next time, we bring more tequila and maybe ditch the karaoke." Baseball has never been more lively, more thrilling, or more outrageous than it is today.

• Corbin Burnes was traded to the Baltimore Orioles from the Brewers. New ownership not wasting a second, huh. This O’s team is real good, keep your eye on them as they try to repeat last year.

• Padres ink Wandy Peralta to a 4yr, $16.5M deal. Good add for them and re-connects with Michael King in San Diego.

• I’ve thought about writing a longer newsletter about this, but Guardians’ home opener will fall in line with a solar eclipse.

Leading the league in home runs for the Oakland A’s, New York Yankees, and the then California Angels, Reggie Jackson was a force to be reckoned with. This video was a good brief breakdown of some of Mr. October’s greatest career highlights and briefly touched on the come-up as well.

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