A Fantasy Baseball Manager Wears Many Hats

A Fantasy Baseball Manager Wears Many Hats

Stop me if I sound like Kevin Costner in (pick one of his baseball movies), but I’ve had a junior high-level crush on baseball for as long as I can remember. Growing up in Wisconsin, I was a Brewers fan and Bob Ueker devotee, and I can recall my first live game at County Stadium in Milwaukee. The Crew played the Angels, and my mom bought me a tank top with Teddy Higuera, Dan Plesac, and Chris Bosio on it, and some lady behind us had the hots for Gary Sheffield. I knew this because she kept yelling at him, calling him “Sheffy Bay-bay!” I don’t know what I did last Thursday, but I can still hear that voice.

I played ball every day of the summer on organized teams and in my backyard, sometimes flipping a wiffle ball into the air for myself to hit. I mowed the grass to look like a diamond, used baby powder to fashion lines, and learned to hit left-handed because I wanted to mimic the entire Brewers lineup—Jim Gantner was a lefty, so I flipped alignment and developed a competent swing. Dale Sveum was a switch hitter, so I only batted lefty occasionally when I was him. 

But baseball is more than the grueling schedule and home runs. It’s the sunflower seeds, the smell of mustard lingering in the hot stadium air, the sounds of the game, the anticipation of the next pitch, and women who holler things at sexy, young third basemen. Personally, I’ve always had a thing for fitted hats.  

When I started playing fantasy baseball ten years ago, I got to lean into all the players, all the teams (MLB and MiLB), and all the hats and logos that come with it. No longer did I feel beholden to the Brewers (my forever team) and the Twins (a team I adopted because they’re in the American League and I live in Minneapolis). I could expand my hat collection simply based on rostering, say, Seattle Mariner OF Mitch Haniger. Or Jackson Holliday, the Orioles prospect who picked up his first MLB hit on Sunday. 

For as much as I like the game and have a coast-to-coast interest in players, teams, and what they wear on their heads, there are some exceptions. 

I cannot be a Mets fan. The organization drives me nuts, and I have never been even a slight fan. I think the White Sox are awful. The Angels bum me out, though I am investing in Reid Detmers. I’ll add Astros players to my team if necessary, and I appreciate Jose Altuve, but I will never own a ‘Stros cap because of their *World Series championship in 2017—this is also why I don’t like Carlos Correa and am reluctant to buy the new Twins hat though I do like the logo.

If Manny Machado weren’t a Padre, I’d snatch one of those brown and yellow lids tomorrow. I still watch Tony Gwynn's hitting videos, and I think Jackson Merrill is an exciting young player. I wish I could don a Phillies hat because I like the team—but I will not due to the off-putting Philadelphia fanbase and also 4th and 26. I suppose by that metric, A Packers fan shouldn’t buy a San Francisco Giants hat either (see: The Catch II).

I run into folks around town who are likely eager to throw a challenge flag at a dude in Minneapolis who’s wearing an out-of-state ballcap. I recently ran into a guy at a brewery who bellowed, “Hey, nice O’s hat. I grew up in Baltimore.” I felt like I needed to prove I’m not just a “It matches my outfit” kind of fella. I told him I watched The Wire, like the young squad and am excited to have Jackson Holliday and Heston Kjerstad on my fantasy team. I then revealed my plan to change my team name to “I Kjerstad Girl And I Liked It” when he gets the call. I hope that happens soon. 

Allegiance is weird in 2024. Some people take a thing they like and build their entire identity around it. Other people find fandom in a great many things and are cool being a leaf in the breeze — tethered to something but ultimately not stuck to it. I wonder at what age it becomes ridiculous for a grown man to wear fitted baseball caps from across the country. I’m wearing my A’s hat right now and love it. It reminds me of The Bash Brothers poster I had in my early ‘90s bedroom and Mason Miller’s fastball.

Regardless of that gut-punching Terrell Owens catch in ‘98, I’m still thinking about buying a Giants hat — because I like the team's radio voice, Jon Miller, and the defensive play of third baseman Matt Chapman. I also might have to get a Red Sox fitted because Triston Casas is my guy. Or maybe I’ll get a Portland Sea Dogs cap fitted instead? We’ll see. The bottom line is that it’s always been fun being a baseball fan and fantasy has given me more of a “right” to invest my fandom into different teams. And that has made it easy to justify buying and wearing the many different hats of all the teams I’m rooting for now, and some I’ve followed closely since Pat Listach won Rookie of The Year.

MLB Player Nickname of The Week

I started calling hot-hitting Brewers second baseman Brice Turang “The Turangutan.” And so can you. I’ll bet $100 that Jimmy Gantner never had a cool nickname. Stay hot, Turangutan. 

Waiver Wire: Looking at Third Base

I play in a 14-team league, and everyone gets four keepers, so the draft's first round is not stacked. There were three locks (Freeman, Betts, Matt Olson), and with the fourth overall pick, I took Rafael Devers and felt okay about it because he was the only top-five third baseman who was available. Now that he’s injured(ish) and has been day to day twice in the first month of the season, I’m starting to formulate a plan B.

The top three rostered 3B on the wire are Matt Chapman, Oswaldo Cabrera, and Eugenio Suarez, and I am happy to pass on all of them, though Chapman can get hot once a month. So, I keep scrolling and find a name I haven’t heard or thought about in two years: Cavan Biggio.

He’s picked up hits in all but three games since Opening Day, is batting 5th in the Blue Jays lineup, and is sporting a solid .825 OPS. In fact, he’s the only available 3B with over 40 at bats who owns an OPS over .800. I don’t think Biggio is going to be a league winner, but if you’re like me and need help at 3B, he’s got positional versatility and might be the most interesting option available. He’s only 15% rostered in Yahoo! leagues.

Waiver Wire: Talented Player With a Cool Name

Blaze Alexander is 2B and SS eligible and has a .806 OPS. With D-Backs SS Geraldo Perdomo injured, the rookie has playing time, and in the minors last year (mostly at AA), he hit 20 taters and had a .900+ OPS. There seems to be opportunity and ability here for those looking to replace Carlos Correa.

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