It's Fantasy Baseball, Not Marriage

Let’s Talk About Attachment

My daughter was born in August of 2020 and before that occurred, I thought I was going to be thrilled, overjoyed, ecstatic. I was going to be a dad! There were months of congratulatory sentiments, videos, well wishes and excitement from friends, family and neighbors. Then she was born, and I quickly realized that—up to this point—living with a baby was one of the worst things I would endure. It was traumatic. I remember telling my friend Pete about how terrible it was, the whole taking care of a screaming baby business, and he told me to figure it out, deal with it, and that I couldn’t send her back.

Pete was right. And though it took a long time (16 months or so, so not really that long), today I am thrilled to pieces every time I see my daughter. There are times when I hug her, and I don’t want to let go. It’s a powerful thing. Strangely, there are people in my fantasy league that feel the same way about players on their roster.

Over the years I’ve been fascinated with this sort of mentality. The kind of padlocked thinking where fantasy team owners view the players on their team like a child; a uniformed son with elite hand-eye coordination that needs to be clutched dearly until their dying day (or the end of the season).

Last year I tried like heck to acquire Ezequiel Duran, and I can’t remember why. I probably read some article about his barrel rate and got fired up. Regardless of what I offered, the owner would not part ways. At a certain point, I couldn’t believe it, so I’d fire off ridiculous, lopsided (in his favor) offers each week. Nothing happened. This year, I’ve had a similar experience with Maikel Garcia. At one point (my 1,764th trade offer), I offered Dylan Cease and Logan Webb for him. This is stupid. I know that. But I just had to see how deep the attachment is. And he never even got back to me. The offer just sat there for a week.

Yes, I am deranged, and full disclosure, this is my final season playing fantasy baseball because I can’t handle this stuff in a healthy way. But for the love of God, if anyone is reading this, be open to trades, be willing to negotiate, take advantage of owners with too many good starting pitchers and not enough production from their offense.

Fantasy baseball is more like grade school dating than marriage, a very loose form of adoption, not parenthood. Be more like Billy Bean in Moneyball and less like a helicopter parent. These guys are assets, moving pieces, players on a chess board. Stop with the insane attachment and just make some trades already because you’re just a fake team owner — not a parent walking his daughter down an aisle at her wedding.

Waiver Wire Considerations

Mark Vientos 1B, 3B, New York Mets (26% owned in Yahoo!)
- In The Athletic, someone posed a question to Eno Sarris if he’d rather have Vientos or Jon Singleton ROS, and he said, “Rather have Vientos, who murders the ball.” I want guys on my fake team who murder the baseball. The Mets recently sent Brett Baty down to AAA, opening a runway for Vientos to take over third base. Giddy up.

Cade Smith RP, Cleveland Guardians (10% owned in Yahoo!)
- Last two weeks: 5 innings pitched, 10Ks, .60 WHIP, 0.00 ERA. Cleveland has an outstanding bullpen too — I like adding arms who exist in a good, steady, flourishing environment. For all the Jeremiah Estrada fans in the building, give this guy a look.

Nelson Velazquez OF, Kansas City Royals (8% owned in Yahoo!)
- I don’t quite get the low ownership here. Last season, in 162 Abs, dude hit 17 taters and amassed an .888 OPS. He’s been hitting 5^th in a good Royals lineup and is barreling the ball like a guy who knows how to barrel the ball.

Someone to Drop:

Jeremy Peña, SS, Houston Astros (85% owned in Yahoo!)
- I’m writing this for those who need to see it: permission granted to move on. He might get hot again, or he might have a .600-something OPS the rest of the season. Who knows. But there are always intriguing players on the wire with upside and Peña has an OPS of .408 in the last 14 days, .634 in the past month, and his Baseball Savant page is not inspiring confidence.

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